Heaven is a place on Earth

1. Is it bad to have four different guys toothbrushes in your bathroom? Asking for a friend.
2. I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
3. Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
4. You were so drunk that when you dropped your fruit roll-up on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
5. [ choose your own ]