[ Something deep inside of Ronan twists -- and from where the sensation comes from, he's not at all sure. He feels it all the way from the center of his chest down to the pit of his stomach -- he knows he shouldn't be here. He's always known that he shouldn't ever go to Kavinsky. It's what Gansey had kept telling him, it's what Declan had kept telling him, it's literally what every fucking person in the world kept telling him, but Ronan's never been one to listen.

Rebelling for the sake of rebellion, but somewhere he knows that's not what this is.

He and Kavinsky are too alike. That's what keeps them constantly orbiting one another. That's why despite how many times he's told the boy to fuck off, or never speak to him again, he still gives in. He still answers his phone, he still comes around eventually.

It was the worst habits that were always the hardest to break. ]

I've always been the only other fucker like you. [ Words he regrets the moment that they leave him, snatching the bottle from Kavinsky and trying to wash them away with a swing of vodka. ] Maybe it's not. [ Ronan eventually drops to take a seat on the couch. ]

Maybe we're stuck in hell. This is all some elaborate fucking game that satan is playing with us.

[ Truthfully, it didn't seem that unlikely to him. ]