You believe in that shit, right? Heaven and hell, all that junk? Doesn't really hold up here anymore, unless this really is hell. One person's paradise sure as fuck ain't all.
[He keeps talking to fill the silence, because that's what Kavinsky does. He doesn't like to let it linger, too many thoughts filling the spaces. But they've always worked out like that. Ronan, the quiet type and Kavinsky the one to keep things going. In the end he failed, but that was all Ronan's doing. They could have had it all.
When the silence does lapse on for a little while, he sits back and gets more comfortable, reaching out to snag the bottle of vodka so he can drink some down as well. Those memories are all things he's been trying to forget. They left him with the kind of ache that this place could never fix and now he can feel it all straining to get back out again. He wonders if Ronan ever mourned him, ever thought about him. He wonders if Ronan regrets leaving him the way he did, taking the last shred of hope he had to convince himself he could stay in that world. ]
Five fucking years. Feels more like ten.
[He snorts, taking another long drink before handing it back. None of it's funny of course, but he can't let anything else show. It's easier to just pretend he doesn't care. It's harder to ignore the way Ronan tenses under him, even if just slightly, so he moves his foot and presses it against Ronan's groin]
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[He keeps talking to fill the silence, because that's what Kavinsky does. He doesn't like to let it linger, too many thoughts filling the spaces. But they've always worked out like that. Ronan, the quiet type and Kavinsky the one to keep things going. In the end he failed, but that was all Ronan's doing. They could have had it all.
When the silence does lapse on for a little while, he sits back and gets more comfortable, reaching out to snag the bottle of vodka so he can drink some down as well. Those memories are all things he's been trying to forget. They left him with the kind of ache that this place could never fix and now he can feel it all straining to get back out again. He wonders if Ronan ever mourned him, ever thought about him. He wonders if Ronan regrets leaving him the way he did, taking the last shred of hope he had to convince himself he could stay in that world. ]
Five fucking years. Feels more like ten.
[He snorts, taking another long drink before handing it back. None of it's funny of course, but he can't let anything else show. It's easier to just pretend he doesn't care. It's harder to ignore the way Ronan tenses under him, even if just slightly, so he moves his foot and presses it against Ronan's groin]