TFLN

[sanjunipero]

Comments

Ferdi Müller ( Original ) Permanent

[ferdi]

1. and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits.
i don't believe him.

2. There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling him tomorrow.

3. it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick

4. Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision

5. [text him]

Ned Leeds ( MCU ) Permanent

[thechairguy]

1. Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life

2. I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do

3. We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.

4. I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko

5. [text him]

Steve Rogers » MCU » Permanent

[noble_sentiments]

1. Fun drinking game. Take a shot of water every couple hours to make sure you are healthy and hydrated

2. I just saw someone pull out a checkbook to pay the tab. I asked if we could be friends.

3. This is the first place where I can go to a bar and not have someone ask me to put on my Cap uniform.

4. Text him!

1

[thechairguy]

Alcohol is hydration!

3

[asgard_trickster]

That's because nobody in Asgard has ever heard of you.

2

[stark]

Who still carries around checks??

3

[stark]

Okay I know Steve Rogers is old, but he's not bad. Sometimes.

2

[stark]

There are contracts now? Interesting.

1

[noble_sentiments]

What does IDGAF mean?

[noble_sentiments]

Ned I'm not sure how to break it to you, but alcohol DEhydrates you.

[noble_sentiments]

I'm saying it's a good thing.

[noble_sentiments]

People with bank accounts.

1.

[littlegreyarea]

who has the time?

[noble_sentiments]

Are you telling me you don't have time to drink water?

[stark]

You know debit cards are a thing, yeah?

[littlegreyarea]

dude, i can hear your disappointment through my phone. how are you making text sound disappointed? you didn't even sound this disappointed in your detention psas. is this another thing the super soldier serum gave you? cause man, if i had even an eighth of that power my patrols would be so much simpler.

Tony Stark / MCU / Permanent

[stark]

1. Just me, my scotch, and my backup scotch.

2. Are you doing that thing where you’re convinced I made a terrible decision?

3. I ordered pizza last night but accidentally set it for this AM. I was gonna call and cancel, but it’s coming in 30 min and I need it.

4. [ wildcard! ]

[noble_sentiments]

Oh, is that what the little plastic card they put in the mail was?

[ Steve definitely knows what a debit card is. Definitely, because SHIELD had assigned someone to teach him 21st century 101. ]

[noble_sentiments]

You know that drinking water takes just a few seconds, right? You must have tried it before.

[ Yup. He's just ignoring what you're saying Peter. ]

[littlegreyarea]

steve? cap? captain? mr. rogers? my suit is skin tight. where would i put a water bottle?

[stark]

Yes, smartass.

[ It’s meant to be more of a friendly jab than insulting. Even though he rolls his eyes, Tony’s smiling as he types. ]

You had me worried for a second.

[noble_sentiments]

[ Steve grins. ]

Old habits die hard.

I still write checks to pay my rent.

Well, maybe not anymore. Now that we're here.

[noble_sentiments]

Well.

Where do you keep your spare clothes?

[littlegreyarea]

my bedroom?

[avengerwithtrainingwheels]

1. We definitely should NOT have touched that big glowy thing!

2. Why do I have a bunch of screws in my pocket? Where did they come from?

3. Did you know there is a mathematical equation for the perfect balance between peanut butter and jelly to make a sandwich?

4. I can't believe they totally bought that fake ID! Why does it say my name is Thor Odinson anyways?

5. Text him.

3

[thechairguy]

Now I do and I expect you to make me the perfect pb&j nowwww

4

[ferdi]

I really don't think they care about that kind of thing here.

3

[thechairguy]

You're gonna share right?

[asgard_trickster]

...Really? I thought you enjoyed wearing the ridiculous, nauseatingly jingoistic overt sentimentality on literally your entire body.

[noble_sentiments]

I do, Loki.

But uniforms are for battle. Not bars.

[ferdi]

Well, it's not an actual physical contract but these things should be understood, right? It's like a social contract.

[thechairguy]

You're old too, Mr. Stark.

[ So, that message was totally meant for Peter, oops. ]

[thechairguy]

I think if you don't know I shoulllld not be the one to tell you.

[thechairguy]

Tell this to sober me

[noble_sentiments]

Why not? Does it stand for something bad?

[noble_sentiments]

I'm going to text Peter. Have him make sure you're okay.

[thechairguy]

We're both fine okay! I'm even typing legibly.

[thechairguy]

well no but

cussing in front of you feels like cussing in front of a priest

or my mom

[asgard_trickster]

But your uniform isn't actually a uniform, is it? Because you're the only one wearing one like it. It's self indulgence. And self indulgence is DEFINITELY for bars.